How to be Okay When Nothing is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself by Jenny Lawson
How to be Okay When Nothing is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself - 5*
Jenny Lawson
I have been reading and following Jenny Lawson for many years. She writes in an engaging, funny style about what is going on in her life, mind, and body. Jenny has treatment-resistant mental illness. I can hardly imagine how hard it is for her to go through life with so many episodes of depression so severe she cannot leave her bed, great fear of leaving home because of panic attacks, and many physical ailments. Yet, she bravely figures out ways to live her best life with a wry sense of humor and tons of creativity. She often expresses her gratitude for her husband and family support.
In this book, Jenny creates a short chapter on various ways she has found over the years that help her navigate life. Many are methods I have heard of before, but Jenny puts her own twist on them that no one else would even think of. She sometimes — often — uses crude language, but that is just a part of who she is. And part of what makes her writing funny.
Each chapter has several short essays, often a photo or drawing, a helpful list of things that help her, such as a playlist, hacks, books, and quotes. You can immediately see her humorous, possibly slightly profane way of looking at things by reading the chapter titles, including:
Let’s kick sadness right in the dick
Let’s make it easier and give ourselves a fucking break
Let’s fight the brain weasels
Let’s love people even when people are sort of scary
As Jenny writes in her introduction, you can read this book straight through, but "also “pick a single quote or motivation when you don’t have the energy for anything heavier” (page xvii). I do not struggle with intensive depression or other ailments Jenny does. I liked the book for its humor, the great stories, and also the insights I received from her collection of things that helped her. We all have sadness in our lives; it’s good to read about ways to “kick sadness right in the dick” (page 50). It helps me in my own life, and gives me some understanding of others.
Here’s an example of “encouragement when nothing feels okay” (page 3). She begins with a favorite quote from Buddha:
Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn’t learn a lot today;
at least we learned a little,
and if we didn’t learn a little,
at least we didn’t get sick,
and if we got sick,
at least we didn’t die;
so let us all be thankful. —BuddhaThis is basically Buddha saying, ‘BUT DID YOU DIE?’ —page 3
Do you love it?!
Besides the humor, great writing, stories, and practical ways to help yourself, the book is fun because it’s got lots of her drawings. They are intricate and weird, often with tiny writing inside. She’s got a Substack account called “Let’s art together,” full of her drawings and often a brief paragraph talking about what and why she drew.
She’s also got teeny, tiny encouragements on the blank back page of chapter endings (“I’m so glad you’re here,” “You’re going to be okay.”) They’re like a little surprise Easter egg you find by accident. There are photos, too. I love when a book aimed at grown-ups has illustrations.
Sometimes Jenny writes while in the depths of depression.
I am currently in a depression so deep that my brain is telling me that I am not worth fighting for. That I will never be worthwhile…Maybe you’re here, too. Maybe you’re hearing all the lies that depression tells so cunningly.
If there is anything you get from this book, I hope it is this: Depression lies. — page 81
I highly recommend this book. I think you will enjoy it, like I did, and it may help you with ways to live your life more joyfully.