Embodied coregulation

Embodied coregulation—ever heard of it? I had not but when I learned what it meant, it struck me as funny that there are these big scientific words to describe something so lovely with excellent simple words already in existence. Like “sanitation engineer” for garbage man. Or, as a co-worker used to say, “I’ll have to research that,” when she meant she’d need to get up and look for a file.

I gather “embodied coregulation” is jargon in therapeutic circles. I googled it and found that basically, it means the way people calm down when they are hugged or held by others. Their heartbeats and breath slowly match the other person’s, slowing them and calming them down.

It reminded me of the way it seems like I can get babies to stop crying, sometimes even when their mothers can’t. It doesn’t always work, but often, if I take a crying child, stand and rock them gently, and focus on keeping my breath and my heart slow, the baby will calm down, and even fall asleep. I never knew that was called embodied coregulation, but there you go.

I don’t think it’s a bad term. When I stop and think about it, I kind of like it. Embodied is a good word. Something that is in the body. It’s not just a head thing. I don’t think I hug you, I use my body and actually hug your body with my body.

And coregulation isn’t bad, either. I think of the metronomes that naturally synchronize:

Or, going back to our human bodies, the way that women and girls living in the same house tend to have their periods at the same time each month. It’s beautiful that my calm, slow-beating heart and soft breathing causes a baby’s heart and breathing to match mine and relax. But those big scientific words for what happens when we hug, that’s just amusing.