Friday, September 15, 2017

So clear, so real, so there

Does this just happen to me, or is it common for people who've lost someone? I woke up crying again this morning. In my dream there were other confusing things, where I woke up, walked through a hallway, and ended up coming out behind the pulpit of our church. The service had ended as I walked up so people were getting up and leaving. I saw a friend and asked how the service went with the new interim pastor and he said, "John has asked me not to talk." No idea who John is.

Then I went back into the room where I'd been sleeping and I was glad to see Mom and Dad sleeping there, too. Mom was just lying back down after writing in a little notebook. She laid the notebook down and said, "Hi, Ran," to Randy who was lying in a bed nearby, then she went back to bed. Dad was up and standing with his back to me, maybe fixing his bed or something. I thought how glad I was they were there and that I could tell Dad, "Hey, I had coffee with Karla, and tea with your sisters Betty, Marcia, and Sheila while I was in Lynden." But even during the dream, I realized I was dreaming and they weren't really there. So I started crying and woke up.

It's been quite while since I dreamed of them. I suppose it happened because of my visit to Lynden and thinking about them so much. Even though they make me sad, I love these dreams. I wonder if I'll stop having them or if they're part of the grieving process and they'll stop?

Mom and Dad were so clear, so real, so there.

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